Another Encounter with God: Become Like a Little Child?

Here is another encounter I had with God.

I’m in a reading group with a bunch of guys. We read books and then we get together to discuss and debate them. All of us value the life of the mind and we love the intellectual interaction.

Uncharacteristically, only three of us showed up one day for our scheduled meeting. In that meeting, the topic of God’s immanence came up. One member of our group thinks that this is a neglected topic in Evangelical circles. He thinks that we have a healthy appreciation of God’s transcendence – that He is above and outside of creation and rules over it – but we are not so comfortable with the equally biblical concept of God’s nearness and closeness and presence in His creation.

This topic had been brought up before by this member of our group and, with a small turnout at this particular meeting, it seemed like a good chance to delve into it. I genuinely wanted to understand his thoughts on this topic.

It was a very heady discussion and my mind was spinning as I left the meeting. We happened to be meeting on that particular day at the church where my friend works and I had to walk down a hall where a bunch of 4-year old kids were being dropped off for pre-school. I was in the midst of wading through this sea of small humans when God said to me, “Unless you become like a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Whoa! Having just come from an intellectual adult discussion, this seemed pretty confrontational. Was God telling me to drop the intellectual pursuit and adopt a simpler, child-like faith?

I had to run to an appointment and could not really give this word from God any attention. But later in the day, as I was walking to cool down from a run, I decided to ask God about it.

“Okay God, what was that about this morning? Are you telling me that all of this intellectual pursuit is worthless? Are you saying it a waste of time to try to understand your immanence? You say that I should love you with all my mind and yet this comment this morning seems to be dismissing that. ”

In response, God asked me, “Well, what about your own kids?’

As in my other encounters with God, this was not an audible voice. It was an internal thought but it had an origin outside of myself. This is one of the ways that I’ve learned to recognize God’s voice – it says things that are disconnected with my line of thinking.

I was not reasoning this out. I was not saying to myself, “Let’s see. Jesus says become like a little child. Okay, what is there in my experience with my own kids that might help me understand what Jesus is saying?” I was not looking for analogies or metaphors. I was not saying to myself, “What can I compare this to?” In fact, I was asking a question and was somewhat fearful about where the conversation might go.

And here is another way I know that this question about my own kids was the voice of God. It was revelatory. Although it will take me several paragraphs to explain what God was saying to me, I knew all of it in an instant. Here was the message I received:

When my kids were little, they were often excited about what they were learning. They would come to me and say, “Dad, look what I can do. I can add two digit numbers! We learned how to do it today. And now that I know how to do that, I can add up any numbers – even big numbers in the thousands. Come on, Dad. Give me two big numbers and I’ll add them up for you.”

You know, I never said to them, “I’m not impressed. Adding numbers is so incredibly elementary. I know how to do differential equations!” (Okay, that would be a bit of a lie – I once knew how to do differential equations while I was taking the class in college but I wouldn’t have a clue where to start right now)

Of course I never reacted disdainfully when my children came to me with things that they were learning. I was excited. I gave them numbers to add together and I ohed and ahed over their marvelous talents. I loved what they were learning. More importantly, I loved that they wanted to share it with me.

And here is another thing that I knew instantly just by God asking the question: I realized that my love for my children was not dependent on their ability to learn. I love them because they are my kids.

For a couple weeks immediately after her birth, we thought that one of our daughters might have Down’s Syndrome. It was a false alarm. But if she had been afflicted with this sinister disease, she might never have learned to add two numbers together. Our love for her would not have been lessened.

I said, “Lord, are you saying that the intellectual pursuit is okay?”

And God said, “Yes. I made you this way. I love your mind. I love what you’re learning. Of course, it is all very elementary to me – it’s like adding two digit numbers. But it is good for you to learn these things and it will lead to other and deeper things. But always share what you are learning with me and process your questions with me. I love the conversations. And never think that my love for you is dependent on figuring it all out.”

As I say, it has taken me several paragraphs to explain this and it has taken you a few minutes to read it. But I knew all of these things in an instant at the very moment that God asked me about my own kids. It was a revelation.

And, it was also healing. I had never realized that there was an unhealthy element in my passion for reading and learning and understanding. Behind it was a sub-conscious thought that I had to get it all figured out to be okay with God. God dealt with this pathological distortion in what is fundamentally a healthy pursuit.

As always, your comments and questions are welcomed and encouraged. And I’d love for any of you to share your own stories of encounters with God.

And let me volunteer this one possible response to my story: Many in the Evangelical community would say that this whole episode is a complete delusion – that I’ve mistaken my own thought processes for the voice of God. They would say that Evangelicalism has become too “therapeutic” and too focused on self and too focused on a casual, chummy view of the relationship between a holy God and his fallen creatures.

At this point, just let me say that this is a common criticism that I encounter frequently in my reading. If you are thinking along these lines, you are not alone and you should feel free to express your skepticism. I will deal with that whole issue in a future blog – hopefully in my next posting.